Not Being Able to Talk – Trusting God with My Husband

God Provides for Us


One of the hardest things about what happened is not being able to talk about what happened.
Why can’t we have some time to talk about him getting shot and killed? Why can’t we talk about guns and drugs and society? Why can’t we talk about raising Zoya without her Baba? What would he have said if we had sat there a year ago and talked about Zoya and I being alone in a year?
Traumatic sudden deaths really are different than slow expected ones. There are so many things that the brain and heart are trying to do at the same time. So often, I’m still just processing the trauma; the sudden change in life still has me spinning. The grieving is another thing entirely.
I’m having to learn a whole new level of trusting God, one that I never imagined. I don’t just have to trust him with…

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